| (no subject) |
[Jan. 19th, 2004|07:29 pm] |
Great, so I feel extremely fucked off. I have a friend who really fucking likes this guy but she refuses to do anything about it, but she goes on about how she wants to go out with him all the fucking time. If she’s not willing to at least fucking talk to the guy then her fucking complaining and liking him is useless. I fucking hate when people purposely make themselves depressed, shit, just fucking get over it. Yeah I know that the guy she likes is her ex and all but she’s been told that he likes her so why doesn’t she just ask him what the fuck is going on. They only went out for like fucking two weeks anyways. She’s to damned soft.
She likes to go on about how no guys like her and I just feel like screaming at her ‘WELL NO GUYS FUCKING LIKE ME EITHER!’ seriously no guys like me but I don’t go on about it. I think that sometimes she says it to make me feel like shit.
I got B on my English GCSE, all my friends got A’s, that really fucking got tome, I should be happy with a B and all but it just made me feel like a fucking Dumbass.
I really hate myself right now. |
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| blah |
[Jan. 3rd, 2004|04:02 pm] |
so i'm swapping rooms with Sabri and Kassim which means i'm going to have my own room.
i won't have much walking space but whatever i can deal with that. |
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| I do it for the drugs |
[Dec. 28th, 2003|10:17 pm] |
So I went to Eastbourne yesterday and bought all my shit. I bought a pair off black stilettos and when I went to pay for them the lady who was working in the store asked me if I was working today which was weird because A} I don’t work and B} I had never seen this lady before in my life, so Vicky was just looking at her weird and I aid “no I’m going shopping today” trying to play along.
So we went to Eastbourne, it was me, Vicky and Tagan.
I went to buy my rad dress and I tried it on and it was too fucking big, it was a size 8 which is usually my size, I asked for a 6 but they didn’t have any so I had to resort t buying a different dress, it’s cool though, I also bought my trilby hat and wore it all day, I was wearing a full suit as-well.
I bought a new beanie its black with two white stripes up the sides and a white star in the middle. I bought new 3120’s from re-al, the guy who was working in there was so fine and there was a guy in there with his girlfriend and he looked like branden from The Used.
I’m fairly sure that I was pissing Tagan and Vicky off all day.
I went into like 6 different music stores and none of them had either the GC DVD or the new Mest album.
I went into power-play and they had the very best of Morrissey CD and I thought that I’d see why Joel likes him so much and I bought that and a stereophonics single. I also got a new GC poster and I got it free.
Some drunken guys came up to us and asked Tagan’s boyfriend if he had money spare and I asked him if he’d buy me Vodka, and he did. I got a quarter bottle.
I went to my nanas for her and my granddads anniversary and because I was so tired I went to sleep in my auntie’s room. And my granddad caused an argument about how I’m on drugs. I don’t know how he got this idea but he thinks I’m on drugs. HA FUCKING HA. |
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| Merry fucking christmas |
[Dec. 24th, 2003|08:46 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  anxious | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Run Run Rudolph by Lulu | ] |
Well, well, well, it’s Christmas Eve and I keep getting randomly excited.
My dads only caused one big argument and stormed out of the house once but I’m sure there will be plenty more where that came from.
We went to Eastbourne Yesterday and I bought 3 pairs of trousers and 2 jumpers. One of the jumpers is black and white striped and my friend has now christened it my ‘Emo’ jumper.
In select I found my dream outfit, it is so fucking beautiful. It’s a 50’s style above the knee dress; it’s made of really cool material which is close at the top and poufs out at the bottom. It’s black and has a pink ribbon around the waist.
My momma is giving me the money to buy it after Christmas because it’ll be reduced in the sales. I’m also getting a pair of black pointy stilettos, a black trilby hat and fishnet stockings to go with it, it will look so rad. Vicky said she’ll get the same so did Tagan so we’ll all look like fools together :}
I have been so stoked.
I keep randomly grinning like a fool.
I was up late last night and at like 3am I wrote this, I don’t know why, it’s not finished and I doubt it ever will be.
( Sometimes you have no choice but to hurt yourself, and the one you love ) |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 22nd, 2003|06:30 pm] |
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i don't know why but i feel the need to cry. |
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| i met a girl who kept tattoos for all the homes she loved |
[Dec. 22nd, 2003|03:47 pm] |
Man I hope kids are nothing like Sasha’s, they are actual little bastards.
I babysat for them last night whilst Sasha and Rob went to get drunk at the pub.
I was paid £15 for it though so that’s okay.
I watched Charlie’s Angels 2 which has the fittest Irish guy in it.
I really need to go see Adele to give her present to her; it’s nearly Christmas for fucks sake.
Vicky told me that Adele got me 3 litres of Cider for Christmas so I’ll have to get that from her.
Last night, for reasons beyond me, I cut the word Tom into my knee; it freaks me out that I actually did that. |
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| Well, maybe this time I can follow through, feel complete |
[Dec. 20th, 2003|02:59 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  content | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Something Corporate-Little | ] |
I feel genuinely content for the first time in ages, I’m good with myself.
I’m getting my bass, I have friends who love me, and I know what I’m doing in college,
I am happy
Part of the reason I’m happy is Tom. It’s been so fucking long since I’ve had a proper crush on someone that I’m actually shocked by it.
I’m really happy with just liking him, just getting that weird feeling in my stomach that I never get around anyone. It’s the feeling that you hear about but never understand until you experience it. I enjoy waking up in the mourning and thinking even if the day is shit at least I’ll see him, I like to stare at him whenever I see him.
I like it that he doesn’t know I exist.
I had a dream about him the other day and I woke up with a smile for once.
I’m sitting here with the biggest fucking smile on my face and tears in my eyes and I couldn’t ask for anything more.
Something Corporate own me right now, seriously Andrew has one of the best fucking voices.
In college I’m going to do Media Studies, Italian & Spanish, English Lit, Philosophy, Music and possibly Art Textiles. |
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