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better_not_run's Journal

Created on 2003-12-19 17:31:35 (#1635302), last updated 2004-01-19

2 comments received, 6 comments posted

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Basic Info

Name:	better_not_run

Bio

I’m sick of feeling like this, I’m sick of feeling guilty, I’m sick of feeling unloved, I’m a walking fucking contradiction, and I hate it.
All my life all I’ve ever been able to do is lie, even when I had no need to I still, did just because I could.
I remember being six years old and telling my entire class that my mom was a stripper, they all gathered around me in a circle and listened to be slander my own fucking mother.
My entire life is a gigantic fucking web of homemade lies and I finally got myself stuck.

Have you ever just gotten to that point where you are so close to breaking point that the most trivial, pathetic of incidents can hurt like a serious mother-fucker.
It could be something as simple as spilling over a glass of coke.
You watch the drink soak through the carpet and you feel that oh-so familiar sting in your eyes, even when you shut your eyes to stop yourself from crying the burning still stays.
It takes all your willpower to stop yourself from smashing the fucking glass against the wall and watch the shards of glass scatter over the floor.
And you grin when you realise that if you left it there then no-one would notice it and pretty soon one of the little bastards that you’re forced to share your house, last name and blood with will have their foot cut to shit.

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Interests (7):

cousincest, gigs, lyrics, original slash, slash, twincest, writing

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